For several months now my health has been touch and go and I didn’t know if I’d have to get a refund on our trip to Cancun or not. I can’t tell you how many times it went through my head that this trip just wasn’t going to happen, even though I just wouldn’t admit it to myself. Looking forward to something fun for a change that doesn’t have anything to do with my health was a welcome change. Well I’m happy to say that in less than twenty four hours we get on that plane for a fun filled holiday full of relaxing on a beach doing absolutely nothing. Normally when we travel we like exploring the region and taking in all that destination has to offer. That won’t be happening on this trip. This time I’m perfectly happy to go and park myself on a beach and not move! Let’s just say my body won’t let me right now!
Now that we are going its time to get last minute details taken care of, and lets just say that there are a lot to take care of. Then there’s this here blog that would normally write a post from wherever I was going so that you can enjoy the same scenery as I am except for one small detail! That YOUR really not there! Not that I want to rub it in because I don’t. The only people I want to do that to are the friends and family that are back home in -30C weather spending day after day shoveling!! I regret to inform you that I won’t be able to do that this time because I won’t be on the internet. With what your paying for in an all-inclusive trip you’d expect that WiFi would be included, where they can make money however they will! So I won’t be bringing you any pictures until I get back. I’m hoping to get around to writing a couple more posts that will publish while I’m away but I’m not sure if I’m that organised this time!
From a pain standpoint things are up and down as always, with some just needing to find that alone time to calm down the nervous system. Those days are very few and far between when you have a nervous system that’s always on edge and doesn’t seem to ever calm down! Its the life that I have to live with and have had to learn to accept along with everything it brings with it. Nobody said this was going to be an easy road, and believe me what I’ve had to endure over the last few years has been anything but a walk in the park. In some ways I feel like over the past year its been one big character building exercise that I’ve been put through. As a result I feel like God has been building me into someone stronger more resiliant, ready to take on anything and everything.
Through this lengthy trial that I’ve had to walk through, I feel as though I’ve been discovering who I really am inside and the person that God created me to be. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but for the longest time I struggled with what was going on inside myself after being diagnosed with my CRPS. For starters I felt lost and like my self-esteem had sufford a major blow. I had just brought my daughter home from China and I questioned how I was going to be as a father dealing with a disability. Then there was the guilt of my wife having to not only watch me go through this, but to have to take on so much extra and not be a stay at home mom! As if that wasn’t enough I couldn’t stop thinking about what life was going to be like for myself in the future. All of these feelings took several years to deal with.
Somehow in the middle of all these storms and all the trials something changed and a strength and the ability to be extremely happy with my life has come about. How does that happen? In part two of this post I’ll be looking at that! So until next week goodbye and its off for some fun in the sun.