Attempt number three! Yesterday at this time I was working on attempt number one when something went wrong with my template and I lost my latest post. A few minutes ago as I was working on attempt number two again something happened and I lost the post again. So here I am working on it for a third time. So frustrating! Sometimes I don’t understand modern technology. Ok it must be my inner old talking! Anyway I had my temper tantrum and now I’m over it! Last week I got back from holiday with my family and now it’s time to get back to writing. The summer is quickly coming to an end and it won’t be long before our family is back into routine for the school year. Where did summer go? I know here where I live it was a summer filled with storm after powerful storm hitting our amazing province. It just seems like summer never got off the ground. At least while we were out on the West Coast we had great weather and it felt like summer. I’m looking forward to getting back into a regular writing pattern here on my site as well.

Where is my pain level right now? There aren’t a lot of changes to tell you about at the moment. I’m still having lots of good days mixed with bad ones and I’m still waiting for surgery to fix my upper implant. Yes still waiting! It’s been really hard waiting for my surgery but what make my medical issues and more important than anyone else living with chronic pain. Nothing! It’s just hard waiting for a surgery that should have happened months ago and probably won’t happen for another five months! I need to have grace for a system that’s maxed out.

Nobody wants to wait especially when your living in pain! Often it’s the pain itself causes us to become irritable towards those people around us that are just trying to help. I’m guilty myself and know that on more than one occasion have become angry with the system. It’s an area that I’ve had to ask God for a lot of grace. It can be easy to lose site of the person in front of us that might be fighting for their life and may not live past tomorrow. I’m not saying the system is perfect by any means because believe me it has it’s flaws! At the same time there are specialized medical professionals out there that are very dedicated to helping us get better who we don’t spend enough time saying “thanks” to. When you ask someone about their experiences with treatment, often the first thing that pops to the front of a persons head is what didn’t go right. Why is that because there are quite a few positive experiences people have as well.

I think in a lot of instances it happens because we want help and we want it now. I say we because I’m just as guilty as the next because I’m desperate to get rid of my pain. The desperation and the frustration sometimes boil over making us say things without looking at things rationally first. Sometimes on the days where I’ve had no sleep because of the pain or the other symptoms, a person could say “hi” and it would be the wrong thing to say to me! That same happens when we have to wait a really long time for an appointment or surgery. All we hear in our head is “you have to wait” instead of looking at the reasons why. That desperation, anger, or whatever it may be takes over in our head and we start making judgements that we shouldn’t make.

I’m trying really hard these days to be patient. It could be really easy to pick up a phone and chew on someone’s ear about how long I’ve had to wait. However when I really think about it all that really does is pull them away from the job they’re trying to do or from helping someone else. Instead I’m choosing to have patience and grace for the difficult job that health care professionals have.