So here I am on a Monday afternoon trying to figure out what to write! I had three quarters of a post put together but then decided to shelf it for another time because I felt I needed to write about something else! I’ve really been having a hard time with my pain lately and surgery to fix my one implant couldn’t come sooner! I spoke with someone who does the scheduling for surgery and it looks like things might happen in the next two or three months. It’s been a really long wait but it finally looks like my time is coming near. It brings with it hope that my pain will be better controlled and that I can get my flare ups under control once again.

The last couple of days my pain has been hard to settle and the management side of things has been a daunting task. However it’s at times like these that I find a strength and fight that rises up in me refusing to give in to defeat. I sometimes hear this little voice in my head that says “you are strong” or  “don’t give in”. I firmly believe that in the times where my body and mind are weak that God is there to make me strong, encouraging me at the times I need it the most.

When your on a journey living a life with CRPS it can beat you up and tear you apart! I can speak to that because for the last eight years that’s exactly what it’s been trying to do. CRPS is this constant cycle that is relentless in nature that takes you on both a physical and mental roller coaster over and over until you can take no more. When your on a roller coaster it feels as though the carts your riding in are careening out of control going faster and faster. I like to use the reference of a roller coaster because it’s such a similar parallel. With a roller coaster your a body in the cart that’s along for a real wild ride. In some cases it’s the ride of your life! Well CRPS works in the same way with a little less fun attached to this ride! Your at the mercy of an illness that takes you on a ride that never seems to end, and can drive you to extremes. If you have God in the seat beside you through the crazy ride, then its a whole lot easier to handle.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that at times when your scared God’s there! When you don’t know what’s around the next corner God’s there to help! When you feel like you just can’t handle any more of that ride because you’ve been battered and bruised God’s there to help you ride just a little bit longer. Anything is possible when you allow yourself the chance to come into relationship with God. That’s a big part of what has changed over time as I battle my CRPS. He’s strengthened my spirit and and continues to pour into my life in all the areas that I need His help, and because of that I’ve become a much stronger person.

So I leave you with this! Who is sitting in the seat next to you on your ride?