Finding Strength Through Weakness
Hi everyone! It’s been a few days since my last post and I’m sorry about that. I haven’t been feeling very good as I’ve been having lots of pain within my implant site. It’s taken everything within me mentally to stay in the game and stay focused. I have days like yesterday where my pain is off the charts, and days where I feel like a new man. I’m being told that everything that’s going on right now looks to be normal in the recovery of this type of surgery. As normal as that can be for a person living with CRPS!
At the moment it’s so hard to tell people where my true pain level is at because some of that pain is post surgery and part I’m sure is from the CRPS. Does it change my decision to do the surgery in the first place? Not at all! If I allow myself to become negative and frustrated though then I’m not going to win this battle that I’m working so hard to win. At the same time I think it’s important for people to see that this isn’t something that’s a simple thing to do. I think that it’s important to show people that I have my moments of weakness, or times where I have difficulty in coping not only with the pain but the stress caused by it all. If I didn’t show that then it wouldn’t be real!
Yesterday was one of those days where everything was getting to me. The pain was getting to me and the mental stress of everything was taking it’s tole on me as well. I believe that in times like that God shows us His awesome power and ability to show up in our time of need. After praying about this yesterday I feel better physically and feel like I’m back mentally again today. This isn’t just something that happens by chance. It has everything to do with me believing and trusting that when I ask for God’s help that He will provide.
When I look back at all the times that I have felt like I couldn’t take any more pain, or any more of the ups and downs of CRPS one thing stands out in my mind. Any time that I’ve needed God to be there for me in a time of need He has always been there. It may not be in the way that I expected or at that exact time, but He has always taken care of my every need!