Are you spinning your wheels waiting for a cure, so that life can get back to what it was before all the pain started? Or are you doing what you can in spite all the pain to move towards a life full of content and meaning. Quite often people don’t think about how their mood or even their motivation can effect a self-management plan! I’ve touched on this subject before but I was at a point in my illness where it was stuck right in the middle. How do you move yourself forward when your always looking into the past?
So why do you keep hoping that life will be as it was before? Why is it so hard accepting and adjusting things to the way they are? Most of the time grief stands in the way. There are so many ways in which grief affects a person. When a person is dealing with grief they are dealing with a loss of something that has real personal meaning. It can happen on so many different levels. It could be something as difficult as not being able to look after yourself, to something like not being able to take part in a sport that means the world to you. These are two very different extremes but when it comes to grieving over them they are on the same level. They are both still very real loses though and you need to grieve over them.
Dealing with grief from chronic pain can be difficult because it isn’t always recognised the way traditional types of losses are recognized. Take for example when someone close to us passes away. We realize that it can be difficult to adjust to that lose. Then the way that we would deal with that lose would be to have a funeral or a time of mourning. Along with that there would be bereavement leave to help with that difficult time. Social traditions are in place to help us deal with our grief.
In dealing with grief from your chronic pain though, it can be difficult to deal with at the best of times. There aren’t any ceremonies that you go to in dealing with your emotions for the physical pain you feel. You have no bereavement leave to help you adjust to not being able to carry out daily tasks. There are still some people out there that think chronic pain is still not even real pain that it’s ” it’s still all in your head”. Lots of times because of this people dealing with chronic pain miss lots of the thoughts, feelings, and actions that are all part of dealing with grief.
So how does grief stop people from moving forward? Without realizing that they need to deal with it, they work against the different treatment plans that should be seen as ways towards a better life! Fears of disappointing others, or being seen as lazy or needy can start creep into peoples lives. However people need to understand that accepting grief and dealing with it is a major part of being able to move forward. Dealing with your grief takes a lot of strength, and God gave me that strength and continues to give it to me. Accept the changes that have happened in your life and start moving forward!