Thinking About Our Children!


DSC_5808What’s your trigger? Is there something that just sets your pain off to the point that you just can’t stand it anymore? For me noise is a huge trigger! So tell me why I find myself on a sitting at an indoor play structure with screaming kids including my own! My body is being put to the test more than ever but my mind even more.

So why would I put myself through this knowing that this is one of my triggers? The answer is quite simply because my kids shouldn’t have to suffer because of a disability that affects me. Wherever possible I try to minimize the amount that they suffer because of my CRPS. Let’s face it, they do suffer in lots of ways but you can make a choice in how your going to let it affect them. They need to be kids and so why should they miss out on playing and having fun. If that means that I have to suffer with a few extra hours of pain then so be it!

When your caught up in a world of pain it can be really hard think of the other peopleDSC_5810 around you. We often forget about how our kids have been affected in all of this, and how life has changed for them. Something as simple as teaching my daughters to ice skate is the perfect example! Every child looks towards their parents to teach them simple things like this, but because I can’t use my leg I’ll never get the opportunity to do something like this with them. Why should they miss out on something like that? It’s my disability yet they almost get punished because of it. Sure there are others that can teach them including my wife but that’s not the point. If they want their dad to teach them then I can’t. This is a huge piece of them growing up and I want that memory to be as positive as it can be under the circumstances.

Do you want your children’s memories to be ones that they can look back and laugh and have great thoughts about? I sure want that for my kids! It can be hard though because with our illness it isn’t as easy as shutting of the pain. What I can do however is limit the amount of time I give to whatever were doing with the kids to minimize the amount of pain. So if Β I’m in a noisy place like today I listen to my body and push the pain to the edge but not too far over. What do I mean by this? It might seem difficult to understand but what I do is put up with my increase in pain until I get to that place where I know I’m at my end, knowing however that I’ll still going to be able to recover if I relax and try and quite my nervous system. It take practice to train your body to push itself Β to it’s limit like this but what starts to happen is that you start training your brain as well to understand that you can recover. Training your brain to understand that your body is safe and that the nervous system “can” in fact calm down even with all the triggers is important because it allows you to do so much more.

Your kids deserve and need to have as normal a childhood as possible. I still have a long way to go with this because my triggers still get the best of me sometimes. With God’s guidance I know I’ll continue to improve in this area. So if you have children take a moment to think about how your disability has affected them!


4 Replies to “Thinking About Our Children!”

  1. Hi Ross! Oh, I can relate to this in a way, although I do not have the physical pain associated with it as you do. I agree that we do many, many things for our children that may not be on the top of our list! πŸ™‚ I love how you write from your heart. Gorgeous photos here! I’ve been using my iphone way too much for pictures lately…I’m going to use my real camera today. Thanks for the inspiration!
    Take care!

  2. Ross, I totally agree with this. My kids are a big trigger with my anxiety, but I really just try to push through it b/c it’s my thing, not there’s. It isn’t always easy tho! πŸ™‚

    LOVE those shots. What a winter wonderland!

  3. My biggest pain trigger is unnecessary stress, which usually comes in the form of my husbands teenagers who sadly are quite ungrateful & selfish. I don’t understand why they are as their Dad is a very kind, tolerant and compassionate soul… He thinks he probably indulged them too much to make up for the abuse from their mother.
    I have had to learn to step back and say “No” to them a lot more (they can be quite demanding at times) and my husband has had to learn to set better boundaries.
    The stress & workload of Uni has also been a huge trigger. I have a disability plan in place at Uni and my lecturers are incredibly supportive. I am so glad I am only studying part time!! After the one 10 hour Uni day I have, I am pretty useless for the next day or two.
    This weekend Michael is taking me on a day trip to a Wildlife Sanctuary which should be great as I have not picked my camera up in 5-6 weeks! He also bought me a 7D with some of his redundancy money which finally came through (after 5 months). It didn’t arrive today so I won’t be photographing with it tomorrow sadly. It will be great just to get out of the house as the 7-8 weeks of rain has finally stopped and the sun has been out all week! πŸ™‚

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