Well now that I’ve completed most of the changes with my blog I finally feel like I can get back to doing what I love to do and that’s writing this blog. It has almost been a year since I started this blog and yet I feel like I have come so far. I didn’t realize when I started doing this, that it would make such a difference in my own personal life. It really is an excellent outlet for when I’m feeling frustrated with how things are going. I almost feel as though I have been able to work through some of the things that have been issues for me, simply by writing things downs and then later going back and reading it over. This has enabled me to think about some of the things that I’ve written about and from that point work certain things out. I can honestly say that I’m at a point where my confidence level is at a high that it hasn’t been at for a while.
With that being said I wanted to post about something today that I keep hearing about over the last couple of weeks. I keep hearing about “plans not turning out the way we had planned for them to turn out.” This is something I had to deal with myself when I became sick. My plans for my life had been turned upside down and I had to try and understand why that was happening. It’s taken some time but I now have a better understanding of why that happened. Now that I’m not stuck on my plans and the way that “I” wanted things to go, I can say that I honestly feel more at ease with things. I’m not hung up anymore on the way my life was suppose to turn out according to “my” plans.
It has taken a really long time but God has other plans for my life. Those plans are still unfolding however I’m seeing pieces of the puzzle come together and feeling encouraged all the time by the things that are happening. What I needed to see is that that plans for my life were not my own but God’s, and let Him guide me along the way. It hasn’t been easy to get over the feelings that I carried inside. After all I had worked hard to get to where I had in my life, I had a certain way for the plans in my life to go. Surely there had to be some anger inside that things weren’t working out as planned. So naturally here I was trying to understand why my life had taken the turn that it did, and it was only natural that I was having a hard time coming to terms with the change in plans. Now I think I can honestly say that I’ve come to terms with those changes and am excited about the plans God has for my life.
It hasn’t been easy getting over the changes since this all happened, and I still have hard days however something has changed since the beginning. I no longer look back at what has happened in anger or frustration. Instead I look forward and see myself embracing a new path for my life. And even though I may not know where that path is leading me right now, I do know that it has brought me some pretty amazing things to my life so far.
When I think about how those changes in plans have impacted my life so far, some amazing things have happened. Amongst all the turmoil that has gone on there is a new closeness that my family and I share that wasn’t there before. As well there is a confidence within me that didn’t exist before. Even though my whole world has been turned upside down for the last 6yrs, in a lot of ways life has been better. There is really only one person responsible for these changes and that’s God!
So if you suffer from CRPS and your going through some of the same feelings and emotions that I was, ask yourself why it might be happening. Are you having problems getting past your emotions? Do you keep saying to yourself this wasn’t part of my plan? Maybe your plan wasn’t meant to be. However in order to understand things better the only way I was able to do that was asking for God’s help.
This week my pain has really been up an down, with some good days and a few bad days. The funny thing is that it isn’t bringing me down at all, my spirits remain high and I keep moving towards a pain free life. I know I’ll get there I just don’t know when or how! In the mean time I just keep positive and living life the only way I know how, by being painfully optomistic!!