It isn’t very often that I’m able to be organized enough that I can take time away from writing posts for this site. However this Christmas I wanted this time away from writing so that all my time could be spent with family, not tied up on a computer writing every couple of days. In other words it’s a technology free Christmas including phone! Cottage time at Christmas is always cozy full of great visits with family, good food, and we can’t forget down time from life in general. It can be hard to carve out time like this so I want to take full advantage of it.
As we get get closer to the end of the year its once again time to look back and look at what 2014 had to offer. It was an interesting year to say the least, and one in which I’d really like to put behind me. I’m sure the rest of the family would be in total agreement with me. Now that my surgery is done and over with hopefully I can get back on track and start moving forward again. There might be some recovery still but at least the worst is behind me. All the waiting for surgery and the extra pain made it really hard to stay positive and there were a lot of times where I just found it hard to keep going. There were moments through the year where I really had to stay on top of my attitude and make sure that I didn’t let myself sink to where I didn’t want to go. With CRPS it’s so easy to slip into a depression without even being aware because of the fight that your enduring every day. I’m looking forward to a year filled with more positive and more victory over this illness.
Throughout this last year there were lots of days filled with moments where feelings of anger could have come rushing back if I had let them. God is good however and He helped me work through those moments. Through the year there were constant reminders of just how raw the emotion could be at times. Just the other night the emotional stress of dealing with CRPS came rushing back when I was in the ER with my daughter. There was a patient that had come into ER who was beside us and she was dealing with chronic pain. The doctor had asked her how she was dealing with that pain. She answered him by saying that she had been fighting as hard as she could, but that it had gotten to the point where she was having suicidal thoughts. It almost made me start crying because I knew exactly how she was feeling! I knew just how much pain she was dealing with and how it can push you to your very max.
I guess that what got me thinking about this post. It’s been a year filled with being pushed to my max but every time God has helped me get through. I’m looking forward to an upcoming year where I see good things and more small victories. It wasn’t that the year was terrible because if I see a lesson in this last year it was that I was being tested over and over. What choice was I going to make in how I dealt with all the challenges I faced? Was I going to choose to let them defeat me and rise up and see the positive? Over and over this was something that I faced last year and every time I rose up and decided I was going to defeat any negative that tried to seep in. That’s not saying that it was easy because lots of times I wanted to let it seep in but I didn’t. I had my moments where it was hard to get out of a funk but I always found a way to see the positive through all the negative.
I’m glad this year is coming to an end and I wish you a Happy New Year! If you’ve had a bad year or a tough year, I hope 2015 is the year that things turn around for you and that you see amazing things happen in your life. Most of all I hope you see victory over the illness you face!