Light At The End Of The Tunnel!

When I decided to start writing this post this morning I didn’t quite know how to start things off. Isn’t summer suppose to be lots of family time hanging out together taking road trips making lots of memories together? It hasn’t quite worked out that way because of all the chaos in my home. I do see an end in site however now that work is being done again. We got final approval to go ahead and drywall today! I’m hopeful that by the end of the weekend we’ll be ready for the final stages and that it won’t be long until we get our basement back.

It’s at times like these that I’m thankful that I have the family that I do. My nephew has come to the rescue and is now finishing the job off for us. He’s amazing and even though he’s living in another province and is extremely busy, he still found time to help us out. It’s a huge blessing and takes a lot of stress off my plate. My pain has been on the rise over the last few weeks and I’m finding that more of my symptoms from the CRPS are starting to surface. I need to slow things down but there are so many projects to get done!

This weekend I am taking time out to go and take in a family gathering which has now been dubbed “wing night” where the cousins host a party that has kind of become an annual event. It’s what cottage life at the lake is all about, lots of family gatherings and the added perk of having great food. In the midst of everything that’s going on right now it’s the perfect break.

On the health front a couple weeks ago I saw my surgeon for a follow up in regards to my implant. I was having a bit of trouble with the incision site because it had somehow opened and there was some concern that the site had become infected. The great news is that things have healed up and it looks like we don’t have to worry about infection anymore. I’m still getting some pain in the area but it seems to be on the mend. Having the implant in it’s new location has been a bit of a challenge because I’ve had to figure out my new limitations. However that being said I’d rather have the battery in it’s new location than in my back any day!

With all the stress over the last little while I’ve started getting a lot of shooting pain in my hand which for the longest time has been under control with the implants. It’s just telling me that I’m doing too much and that I need to get that stress under control.  My energy level has been really up and down as well, something that again is any symptom that I’m pushing things too hard. I’ve been trying to do a lot of relaxation therapy to combat the increase in symptoms.

I  don’t do well telling myself to slow down and I never have. I’ve always had a really strong work ethnic and pride myself on that. Now that CRPS is a part of my life however I can’t achieve the same high standards that I hold myself to. It’s something that I’ve had a really hard time dealing but over time I’ve had to learn to accept. It’s been a real struggle because my strong work ethic is a part of who I am and CRPS has tried to take that away from me. What I’ve really had to learn though is that my work ethic doesn’t have to change but the amount I do does. This might seem like an easy thing to change but for me it’s been a real challenge. I think I’ve gotten better over time but I still have my days where I think things should be normal.

Well I’d better end this post and get on with things. I’ll be back from the lake in a couple of days when I’ll post again. Hopefully at some point over the next little while I’ll get back to posting every couple of days but being summer and having so much going on I’ll do my best to get one up at least once a week. Talk to everyone soon.

Another Test Of Faith!

The past 72hrs has been challenging to say the least! Several trips back to see the surgeon and the staff at the implant clinic haven’t yielded a lot of answers. If you hadn’t read my last post you may not have known that I had my surgery to remove and relocate the second of my two implants. It now sits under my left clavicle and I’m happy with where it is, with any luck it will work out better in this location. During the surgery we ran into some problems and found out that the site had become infected, and we are trying to understand if it might be related to the last infection that I had.

Everything was cleaned out during the surgery and I’ve been put on antibiotics and will undergo further tests next week. We are hopeful that the treatment will work but it’s a watch and wait type thing. The surgeon will run some tests to make sure that nothing has gone to the spinal cord as well. It’s one of those kinks that I didn’t need thrown into the mix but I guess it is what it is! The pain is super intense at the moment and I’m doing my best not to lose my mind. I’m on day four and hopefully in a day or two we’ll see more improvement. Yesterday I couldn’t understand why the pain was getting worse but after talking with the staff at the implant clinic things now make sense. I won’t go into detail but after talking to them about what was done during surgery,  I have a better understanding of why all the extra pain.

My intentions were to finish this yesterday but that just didn’t happen. I’m having a really hard time at the moment dealing with all of this. Going into this surgery I thought I was prepared mentally but clearly I had that part wrong. I can deal with the physical pain but at times everything gets to be to much and I just want it all to be over! It’s also taking it’s toll right now on the rest of my family, with having to make lots of adjustments while I get better. Sometimes that can be harder to deal with than having to deal with recovery itself! It isn’t fare that my family has to be affected the way that they are. At times like this I get angry at the CRPS and the changes it’s caused in my families life. This family has stared adversity in the face before however, and like all those other times we will get through this one as well.

If anything all of this drives me more to beat this illness, and in order  to do that I need to trust that God is going to help me do it. It’s been a rough week and my emotions are running on high! Have you ever had that dream where you need to take a breath but you just can’t. Over and over in the dream you gasp for air  but you just can’t seem to get the breathe until you wake up. Well that’s kind of how I feel this week, I’m having trouble getting my breathe. Once I open my eyes and get that breathe  I know everything will be ok. It’s just going to take a bit of grit and determination to get though all of this.

All of the feelings set aside the surgery itself is going to help improve things for me. I already know without a doubt that moving the battery to where it is now was the right decision. I have to admit I didn’t like the thought of where it was going to go. Sometimes I just need to listen and not question! Thanks for listening to my frustrations in today’s post, sometimes just laying it all out there helps.Well enough rambling for today and besides I need to rest up.