Have you ever had one of those moments where you were listening to something like your favorite podcast and something really profound strikes you. Well today that happened as I was listening to one of mine and I wanted to share it with you. The person speaking was sharing a story about whitewater rafting with his wife. As they headed down river the raft they were in flipped and all kinds of chaos ensued. The story carries on talking about how they came within inches of death however they eventually managed to reach shore safely.
After everything that transpired the last thing he wanted to do was get back into that raft and continue down the river, yet it was the only option because there was no other way out. He offered to pay the guide to have a helicopter fly in and pick them up but the canyon walls were too steep! There was no other way of walking out until they got several miles down river, and they had to face some very nasty rapids called the Devil’s Mouth! Facing no other choice they got back into the raft and continued down river.
So often the only option one faces while fighting a chronic illness is to move straight forward and take on the illness in a battle that most of us would rather not fight. We see that difficult path that lies ahead, and it scares us to the extent that we don’t want to get back in the boat. It takes every ounce of strength to tell yourself that your going to be ok, and not to let the fear of the unknown make decisions for you! It takes faith and believing in yourself to continue your journey through whatever you might have to face. Sometimes those roadblocks that stand in our way are there for reasons unknown but you can’t let fear stop you from moving ahead. Sometimes you just have to say “I’m not going to let fear stop me from taking the next step” or from “accomplishing a goal”!
What I kept thinking through the entire podcast was I’m going through all of this for a reason! The pain, suffering, surgeries, and everything else CRPS throws at me! I know in my heart that I’m having to go through all of this so that something good will come out of all of it in the end. Even the ability to be able to speak into another person’s life is a powerful tool that I have been given. At the start of all of this I felt weak and beaten down. Now I feel as though I can take on anything life throws at me, regardless of what the challenge is. We don’t always see odvious things that are sittings right in front of us because we get too caught up in what’s happening in the now!
The message today is pretty simple sometimes we only have one choice and that’s to keep moving forward and face whatever lays ahead. You don’t know what might come out of your experiences!
Six years later and 350 posts and this thing is still going! It seems like just yesterday that I wrote my first post for this blog but you blink and time just passes in an instant. I was looking through some of my older posts, and so much has changed over that time in this very personal battle with my CRPS. I’ve met so many people as I’ve been on this journey, and I wanted to take a minute to say thanks for all the support and encouragement. Especially knowing that some of you are in that same fight right along with me! Its that support and knowing that we aren’t alone in all of this that gets us through those really hard days.
Its hard to believe the amount of time that’s gone by, and some days it seems like double that amount of time. As each day goes by I gain more hope and confidence that doctors will find a cure for the illness that tries to tear apart peoples lives bit by bit. I’m reminded in a heartbeat just how cruel this disease can be whenever my pain gets really bad. The difference now though is that I’ll never let it defeat me! God has my back through all of this and fear has no hold over what I can or can’t do within my life. Don’t think for a minute that fear hasn’t been a factor as I’ve had to deal with my CRPS because it most definately has. The difference is that I’ve decided to not let it take root in my life.
Once again the plan was to finish this post yesterday but as has happened before my brain goes into shutdown! Its frustrating because I have so much to write. With this illness however there are days where it hurts to think, and I mean that in the literal sense!! Its one of those times where my pain is bad causing lots of mental blocks, and I’ve had to learn not to fight it. You’ve heard all this before so there’s no need to really get into it!!
Before I get too far off topic I’d better get things back on course. In this post I really wanted to speak towards fear because it can have such a grip on a persons life. I’ve posted about this topic before but only because I speak to so many people who deal with it as they try to manage their way through a chronic illness. Its one of those topics that is so important if your going to be able to move forward in your own personal journey against your illness. Fear is one of those things that tries to find a way in through any crack it can, and it doesn’t take much for it to take a stronghold in your life. Do you allow fear to take you down a road you don’t want to go?
Life in general throws all kinds of curveballs at you and some of those involve fear. When you add chronic illness to the mix everything is more complex. Fear makes itself more present because it has more of an oportunity to do so. As long as this illness affects my life then there will always be fear that tries to creep into my life and take me down a path I don’t want or need to go down. I’ve made the hard decision however that fear doesn’t have any place in my life and that with Gods help I can keep it away. Even after my my most recent surgery I had to spend time blocking out some of those questions that fear can attach itself to.
I’ve always been straight forward and honest about my feelings on my site and I’m not going to stop now. When fear tries to show up in my life I pull out the biggest weapon that I have! GOD! Whenever there is any type of fear that tries to show itself in my life I give it to God and He always sets me free of it. So ask yourself one question tonight. Does fear have a stronghold on your life as you deal with your chronic illness?