My name is Ross and I want to welcome you to my site. I'm married to an amazing woman who is my best friend, and my soul mate all rolled up into one! I am the father of two very special girls who we adopted from China & Ethiopia. Together we make up one very multicultural family!
In 2006 my life was turned upside down when I was diagnosed with CRPS/RSD. It was the start of a journey I never could have expected, and one that I couldn't fight without God. CRPS is a chronic pain disease and it started in my left hand. I lost mobility of my hand and started to experience pain unlike I ever could have imagined. Not to long after my left ankle became affected. I spent the better half of about a year and a half not knowing what was going on in my body and traveling from doctor to doctor to find a diagnosis. As time went by I started learning more about CRPS and all its symptoms that it brings with it!
As I started to learn more about CRPS I felt the growing need to share the information I was learning with others and to raise more awareness. As well I want this to be a place where we can connect and support one another. So I would encourage you to contact me if you want.
Hi everyone! I know its been a while since my last post and so I figured I better get something up. That’s if any of you are still reading this blog! Today is really just an update on what has been going on. In Sept things were busy with a couple of speaking engagements and a week-long trip to Ottawa involving advocacy work. While in Ottawa for that work an opportunity arose to speak with representatives from both the Liberal and Conservative Governments in regards to Bill C-81 the Accessible Canada Act. This was a real privilege to take part in and I had to ask a lot extra of myself in order to do it.
In October I started experiencing a really bad spike in pain which ended up with me making a visit to the hospital. I have managed to get the pain under control however am still dealing with some unanswered questions. Pushing forward and not wanting this setback to derail me, in mid Oct I was asked to speak at a conference in Montreal. I was given the opportunity to share my story with researchers from the Society for Medical Decision Making. Another opportunity that you don’t get every day, and one in which I got to share on behalf of the patient/advocate with researchers from across North America.
After sharing my story a researcher attending the conference pulled me aside. She told me that the highlight to her week was listening to my story, and that it opened her eyes to just how much rare disease affects an individual and their family. Then she thanked me for helping her to see things from a different perspective, and that this would change the way that she would do her research moving forward. At moments like these it doesn’t matter how many individuals are at the conference! Being able to impact just one person in the way that I did make it all worthwhile.
Arriving home from Montreal and with commitments out of the way I could now spend more time on self-care. A good thing because dealing with my health right now has to be my focus. At the moment I am undergoing different tests to figure out why my pain is spiking so much as of late. It all gets to be so much at times but you do your best to pull out anything positive you can. You will see in one of my next posts, that a great deal of positive can result from a these trials we face.
I’ve moved past the point of allowing anger, fear, or any of the negative that tries to creep in. In the thirteen years since diagnosis when it comes to research, treatments, or even cures there’s been very little changed with CRPS. Yet this tends to be where people fighting this disease get stuck and spin their wheels. People diagnosed get paralyzed in fear and start to feel helpless because of the uncertainty of so many different things.This is an area in my life where God has really broken down walls and not only fills me with hope but also helped me to keep moving forward with my life.
I’m not willing to let life pass me by! CRPS can throw everything it has at me but every time I’ll get up and fight stronger and harder never giving up. I guess in a lot of ways you can compare crps to the likes of learning how to ride a bike for the very first time. At times you are going to fall off, and so you dust yourself off and get right back on the bike.The hard part is in telling yourself to get back on. For me personally God is the one who lifts me back up every time I fall off, encouraging me to keep going and move forward with my life.
Like I said before there really is no message in today’s post. Although if you read between the lines maybe there is one I don’t know. What I will say is this. We know that as each of us walks through our own personal journey’s, that we might come up against some really tough situations. Right! It’s in my own personal opinion that we need to see them as opportunities to learn and grow from them. Even if that means not understanding the why’s of a given situation! God has really helped me to strengthen this area of my life. Empowering me to use those obstacles or tough times that I go through in a number of positive ways.
Not everything about this diagnosis has to be a bad thing. The person I have become as a result of being sick would require me to write an entire chapter of a book in order to explain. Yes chronic illness has radically changed my life along with the rest of my family. What I am choosing to see however are all the ways in which it has had a positive impact on my life!
Hi everyone!I know it been a while since my last post but I’ve needed a bit of a break. With family and multiple advocacy commitments it hasn’t left a lot of time for writing. Yet its such a vital piece in helping me to express myself with all that rare disease has thrown my way! Some days it just feels like such a never-ending battle and I’m not going to lie its hard. I wish I could explain what its like to wake up in the morning ready to take on a new day, yet feel as if you’ve had the “crap” kicked out of you already and it’s not even 9am!
CRPS is so much more than just chronic pain! Yet we focus on the pain because that is what we know and hear about most of the time when it comes to this disease. Pain, swelling, and a fire burning that I wouldn’t wish upon anybody are most definitely the primary symptoms affecting me. However there are numerous other symptoms that people affected by CRPS and other chronic illnesses suffer from, and we don’t hear or do enough about them. Things like stress, social withdrawal, irritability, loss of interest, poor concentration, easy tears, lack of energy, sadness, and depression just to name a few. So let’s just say that the pain side(or the ones we hear about most of the time) are “Part A” and the invisible ones(not heard about of enough) are the ones that make up “Part B”.
We talk about one side when really both sides come as a package deal. The articles that I read in relation to my own diagnosis CRPS, always seem to address issues surrounding the pain but don’t seem to go much further than that. I can’t help but think that if we spent more time on educating about both sides, that we would be so much more effective in how we treat these illnesses. The best example I can think of to back this statement up, is the high suicide rate that comes along with CRPS. What are we doing to address it? I get that patients are desperate and being pushed to their limits because I’m one of them! In order to effectively treat and manage however we need to bring both sides of the puzzle together. This is often where the problem lies.
There is no one reason for how or why things breakdown. We as the patient have a voice and need to do our part in speaking up! If we want things to change then it starts with us. That means talking to our physicians, members of government, and others who have an active role in our healthcare system. We can’t just remain silent and hope that everything magically changes itself. To create change then we have to take an active part in trying to make that change happen!
On the other side of things lets look at the healthcare professional or physician who has been highly trained to perform that roll to the best of his abilities. I decided to look up the definition of physician and this is what I found!
A physician, medical practitioner, medical doctor, or simple doctor is a professional who practices medicine, which is concerned with promoting, maintaining, or restoring health through the study, diagnosis, and treatment of disease, injury, and other physical and mental impairments.
The use of this definition isn’t to slight physicians in any way but rather to illustrate the point I’m trying to make. Most of what I have dubbed “Part B” is contained within the last two words “mental impairments” however it isn’t confined to just those two words. Just like with the patient there are opportunities within a physicians profession that could help in bringing together the necessary pieces.
Look! I could find all kinds of reasons for why these problems exist but that’s not the point of me writing this. There’s a problem and we need to start working towards fixing it. I’m not the expert when it comes to policy or the healthcare system but I am an expert in my own body and what I have had to deal with over twelve years since diagnosis. I can bring value to any conversation that happens, and can be effective in trying to bring about change!
If I do my part then I don’t think I’m asking for too much when I ask others to do theirs. I get that chronic pain, rare disease, chronic illness, or however you want to label it are tough to diagnose and treat. The fact remains that there needs to be a basic level of care and treatment that one has to receive! When you speak to others within different health communities they will tell you that those basic needs aren’t being met for whatever reason. That’s what needs to change.
So I’ll end with this! There are some of you out there who have crazy powerful stories that need to be heard. Those stories can be a huge part of how we can influence the change that needs to happen around us. Look at your personal journey as a way that you can inspire, motivate, and empower those around you. A simple story can be so powerful! Don’t be that mouse that hides in the corner but the lion that is loud and can be heard for miles around.
This piece has been entered in the Patients Have Power Writing Contest run by Clara Health which is designed to raise awareness about clinical trials. I am passionate about this cause and hope it will raise the much needed awareness.
Up until a few days ago I was still trying to figure out just how to approach this piece. Although I have yet to take part in a clinical trial, I’ve spent the last year researching the different types and what might work best for my particular disease. Why? Research trials give patients such as me hope for cutting edge treatments and so much more. With not many options available and very little known about my disease, entering a trial can give me hope to not only find new treatments but to discover more about the disease. More so maybe the research that they do within trials will lead to preventing this disease.
In order to give you a little bit more of the history let me take you back twelve years. My wife and I had just arrived home from China with our 19 month old daughter. Life was good! We were starting our family and my wife and I had successful careers. My wife was now going to be a stay at home mom. Then all of a sudden the wheels ‘fell off the car’ and life started spinning out of control. After a simple surgery and a two-year journey of visiting at least 20 physicians and specialists, I had been diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome a rare neuroautoimmune disease. The condition would leave me in such debilitating chronic pain day in and day out that it was a challenge just to function. My wife would end up going back to work as I was no longer able to work.
In the early years of my diagnosis I had lost all hope and my mental health was not in a good place. They call CRPS “the suicide disease” and I was finding out first hand why because the pain was so bad I didn’t know if I could go on. Thankfully I was able to work through things with help. I was finally able to find a care team that has been nothing short of amazing. To a degree you could say that my care team is my experience with the trial process. We have tried everything from experimental drugs to experimental therapies. What we’re lacking though is the research and the studies. Ten major surgeries later and trying the few treatments available to me and we are still no closer to finding a successful treatment plan.
What people need to understand is that the clinical trials are not only about new drugs for treatment! There are clinical research studies called observational studies that look at a patient’s disease or illness for genetic correlations or even improving upon current treatments. These are the type of trials that I am interested in because for years I have wondered if there is a genetic link to my disease. Or are there ways in which I can improve upon my current treatment plan.
Patients such as I hold a tremendous amount of value and knowledge to the researcher in those trials. What we are seeing is that the patient is starting to say that we need to be a part of the solution through the Patients Have Power movement. The patient who knows their own body and everything they are living through better than anyone is saying tap into our resources. Up until recently however I have had no power in helping to influence research. Companies such as Clara Health however are helping us to change that. Their belief in empowering the patient is giving the patient a voice. Patients do have power!
Today has just been one of those really tough days, one of those emotional roller coaster days. It’s been a high pain day and the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed. Actually let me go back to closer to 2am when the shooting burning pain intensified. Then again around 3am it decided to get a little angrier! If that wasn’t enough around 4am it decided to ramp things up even more. Just when it seemed as if it couldn’t get any worse last night it did! This is my norm however and so when things get this way all I can do is pray! I have to rely on God at all times and I won’t shy away from saying that.
This is just one of those days where I find myself chasing things around in my head, and trying to keep the negative at a distance! It’s not easy when it’s coming at you from every angle and your mental state is being taxed to its max! Chronic illness can wear you down there’s no doubt about that and nobody is immune to it. I can’t tell you how many times today I’ve been on the verge of my emotions getting the best of me. Yes that means that I wanted to cry! The frustration, pain, and lack of clarity or ability to spit out a three-letter word have been really bad. Sometimes these symptoms hit without notice and just when you think you’ve got a handle on them they rear their ugly head again.
Chronic illnesses are cyclical and to be able to manage things well I need to be able to break that cycle. Some of you may have noticed the lack of posts over the last little while. Part of that reason is because I just haven’t been able to put pen to paper to get my thoughts out. The other is that I have simply gotten away from using one of my tools that is important in managing my disease. After numerous attempts and lots of giving up I’m finally pushing through, and not giving in to a disease that has tried to rob me of so much! Have I let my frustrations get the best of me sometimes? Have I pushed too hard? Do I let negativity seep in and influence my actions? To all three of these questions I would have to answer yes!
Living with my illness will never be easy! Using my tools is a necessary part of life for now. Maybe that means today, instead of writing that complex message that I had stuck in my brain, I write something basic that helps me work through my emotions. So that’s what I’m doing! I’m getting back to grass-roots! Writing is more than just writing down a bunch of words to me. It’s a way for me to express what I’m going through daily or what’s going on deep within me as I live with CRPS. Furthermore, it allows me to look back and reflect on things and see in large just how far I have really come. Often I will look back through previous writing because it helps me gain perspective. It helps me to see that even though it feels like some days I’m getting nowhere, I really am making progresses and that there are good days in between.
This basic message is really about staying positive and focusing on being that way each and every day! If that means walking through a process that helps me get to where I need to be then that’s what I need to do. A life changing diagnosis without a doubt is going to rattle you sometimes but are you up to the task of navigating your way through it? There are only two answers to this question, yes or no! I know I am!
While the last post is fresh in my mind I wanted to write part two. Before I get started though I just wanted to say everything in this post is of my own opinion. I’m excited for today’s post because the whole area of good tasting food is important to me! I like food! One of the hardest parts of making all of these changes to me was not knowing what the taste and texture of everything was going to be like. Whatever your indulgences may be when your making these types of changes in eating habits, its hard because in your brain is stamped “tastes good” and for the most part nothing else! Am I ever going to be able to eat that yummy desert again? For all you chocolate lovers out there take a look at the desert I have pictured here! I’m telling you they taste better than peanut butter cups themselves! Why did I start with something sweet? I wanted you to be able to identify with something that really tastes good and know that you “CAN” have good tasting and healthy.
Like I mentioned in the last post it takes a little work to find things you will like. I also told you that it takes some experimental food nights here in my home. Especially when you have two young kids who don’t fully understand the whole healthy eating thing! For the most part they are very willing to try healthy ways of eating but what kid doesn’t still want that loaded hamburger or piece of pizza when it’s offered to them. So when you put something like a Sweet Potato Veggie Burger in front of them (which we haven’t done yet) it’s often met with a “this looks interesting” or “is this healthy” response when they come to the table. Sometimes we are truly surprised though by their reaction after they take a bite! For the record I haven’t tried this burger yet but it might just have to be put on the menu soon! I’m envisioning an experimental food night in the near future. In order to find those foods you like you have to be willing to be a bit adventurous. This burger is largely made of chick-peas and sweet potatoes and so I want to look at the benefit those two ingredients have for those of us dealing with chronic illness. Sweet potatoes are an excellent source of vitamin A which is a powerful antioxidant and plays a huge role in your neurological function. They are also high in Vitamin B5 B6 which helps with stress and anxiety, respiratory disorders, and heart problems. The chickpeas in the recipe are an excellent source of protein. They also help with controlling our blood sugar, improving digestion, and help protect against cancer and heart disease.
Today is really about looking at a few recipes and taking a look at how making some simple changes with your eating can really impact your life and your fight against chronic illness. For those of you who like tea I wanted to talk about a version of a Bullet Proof Tea that is really good for you. It uses the combination of organic tea, pumpkin spice, and apple cider vinegar. The pumpkin spice contains four powerful spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves) that help with things such as insulin, cognitive improvement, metabolism, and others. I would get into all the benefits but this would take a post on its own to explain all the different benefits that each ingredient has. If you want the recipe or your interested in what this tea is all about then I would suggest you check out this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jH05oDd3Hw to Thomas DeLauer and his version of the tea.
What I’m trying to say is be smart about how you are eating, and look at what is in the food and how it might help with your particular diagnosis. It really is a science I’m beginning to figure out! It doesn’t guarantee that I will see change in my symptoms but what it does do is ensure that I am doing all I can in trying to facilitate that change to better my situation. As I learn more and more about how the foods are grown, what is in that food, and how they are prepared, more and more is making sense to me. I urge you to watch some of the food documentaries out there because they’ll open your eyes! In a world where everything is now processed for convenience we are seeing chemicals of all kinds being put into our foods and I can’t help but think that they play a huge part in some of these autoimmune diseases we are seeing diagnosed today.
Does all of this mean that I don’t occasionally go out and indulge? Of course I do! What’s funny however is that now that I’ve made some changes when I do eat something that isn’t overly healthy my body notices it right away. That bag of Doritos might taste good initially but soon after it begins to catch up with my stomach! I’ve found healthier options that I quite enjoy snacking on and know they’re better for me. Here’s a food fact for you! Did you know that your taste buds are being trained to like those chips or that favorite snack that you enjoy eating! That’s right the chemicals that are found in foods are taking you back again over and over to some of those foods that you like to snack on. It’s amazing how the food industry will go to all kinds of costs just to get people addicted to their products. Going into the food industry is a whole different post however. I don’t want to get off track however that’s maybe for another post. What I’m saying is that with a bit of researching and experimenting it is possible to eat foods that taste really good that are extremely healthy. What do you have to lose in making some smart changes in the way you eat? Nothing! Only benefits will await you!