As I sit here writing this post when I really should be sleeping gives you an idea of how things have been going over the last few days. My pain hasn’t been controlled as well as I’d like, and I’m having a lot of trouble trying to keep my mind off of it! With CRPS every minute of every day you are reminded that you live in constant pain, and that your in a war that only others suffering with this can understand. As I mentioned in my last post the fight that this takes drains you of your energy because it takes everything you’ve got inside to battle this illness.
I do the best I can as each day goes by trying to stay strong and not to let the CRPS win, but the reality is that your going to have lots of ups and downs during this battle. The key is to stay focused on the ups! I wouldn’t be able to do that alone and so I give it to God to do all the fighting for me. He is the one that revitalizes my body with enough energy to push through the hard days and nights when it doesn’t seem possible. Even getting through all the surgery in the last year, it was God leading the way enabling me to endure all that I had to go through.
When I found out last week that the probability of me having to go through a seventh surgery is pretty high, I immediately started asking God to give me strength to go through it if needed! My point is that everything keeps coming back to God and that without him I wouldn’t be winning this war. He is the one who makes going through little moments like the ones I’m dealing with now so much easier to handle.
My original plan was to finish this post all on the same day but I decided I needed to take a small break away from it and so here I am finishing up the day after. My pain is a bit better today but I’m still not back to normal. With Christmas coming I really need to work on getting things under control, although with everything that goes on at this time of year it’s hard to get a handle on stress.
There are a few topics that I want to start writing about with my CRPS but to be honest I’ve just been trying to focus on getting through the day to day at the moment. So when I’m feeling better I promise to make the posts a bit more interesting. The way things are at the moment I have to try and focus on what’s going on with my health. For right now the plan is to have another injection done in a month’s time into where the battery sits in my back. If that doesn’t work then another surgery will be planned to move the battery into my abdomen.
I’ll talk to everyone soon!