Once again I’m back for another post, although today is one of those rare days where the pain isn’t controlling what I can and can’t do. Even though I’m dealing with my share of pain today, it seems as though I’m able to control it enough to do the things that I want to do. I spent the morning coloring with my kids today and it meant the world to them. You could see it in their eyes and the way that they reacted when I asked them if dad could spend some time coloring with them. Something so simple goes such a long way with those kids, and it’s as though for a minute that everything had returned to normal, and that I’m just dad to them!! So when I have the opportunity to seize the momeant and spend some time with then I’m going to do it.
Spending time with my kids means the world to me. So if I’m not suffering from pain or lacking in energy I try to give them whatever I can. There may be a lot of things that I can’t do with them but time is one of those things that I can give them. If you ask most kids what they want from there parents, for the most part all they will say is to spend time with them. Time is something that I can give my kids when I feel up to it. I’ve struggled from the day that I got sick in dealing with how I interact with my kids. Not every day is an easy day to interact with my kids, and it’s ok to have days like that. It is however about taking advantage of the good days, and making the most of those days and creating a lasting impression with them.
Over the last couple of weeks some of the symptoms that I suffer from have been pretty bad. However that being said I find a way to keep pushing through and not letting them affect me in a negative manner. It’s been difficult at times to stay positive and focused, although I know if I don’t then I’ll have an even harder time. My kids let me forget about all the health issues for just a moment, and I’m able to enjoy the gifts that God has given me.
As of late my kids have also been helping me find the laughter and happiness that’s inside me. It isn’t always easy to see that laughter and happiness because of all the other baggage that comes with CRPS. Sometimes we just need to focus on something other than the CRPS. This can help us find things that we thought may have been missing, or we just haven’t seen in a really long time. CRPS can rob us of things from time to time, making day to day life more difficult. I ask God each day to help me with this so that this doesn’t happen.
When CRPS has a hold on you it can be easy to become depressed and to lose sight of all the good things that a person might have going on in their life. Some people develop almost a tunnel vision, and every aspect of their lives takes on a negative aspect, and then slowly all the good gets squashed down. It doesn’t have to be this way and I’ll be the first to say, that this is one major area in my life that God has helped me through. He has maintained my hope and faith through the duration of this illness, and helped me to remain confident when at times that didn’t seem possible.
There has been more than one occasion where God has shown this to me. One way He has done this is through my kids. As I’ve mentioned before when my pain is bad, it can be hard to find the laughter within or to stay positive. Well it never fails that when I get this way, God somehow manages to use my kids to help me find that laughter from within just at the right time. It can even be words that my kids can say to me that will encourage me and help me remain positive and confident. Chance? I think not!